Welcome to this blog post! The storyline of this post is “actually” told very quickly. The most important keywords to succeed in this topic are: communication and acceptance! But honest acceptance.
Because if you don’t talk to each other and do not behave in a solution-oriented way, or even if you allow your partner to wear dresses and heels, but you don’t really mean it, you can end your relationship right now. Sounds a bit drastic, huh?
And the reason why your relationship is over is not your partner dressing up in women’s clothes. I think it is over, because you can not talk to each other – anymore. That is the key problem of your romance!
But you can fix it!
Better think before you speak
The most important success factor in any relationship is to talk to each other. Of course, this is absolutely nothing new and feels like the reinvention of the wheel… But when we all know, that it is important, why is it so hard?
There are many reasons!
Many couples say, that it’s the stressful job that leads a marriage to a communicative disaster. The boring “daily routines” killing romance too. Your regular topic is about “who’s going to take the garbage out?” or “do we still have butter in the fridge?”
Anyway. Asking the partner, “how are you?” and be really interested in the answer can change a lot.
What the other person really feels? What makes her or him feel uncomfortable right now? Why is the partner sad? What are the wishes for the future? Those questions aren’t being asked quite often – sadly.
And this is where all problems started! Probably the majority of all partners who catch their man wearing women’s clothes immediately think about whether the man no longer loves them, is he even gay or wants to change the gender?
This is followed by the questions of whether it is their own fault. Am I too fat? Not attractive anymore? What have I done to make him acting this way?
You are thinking about those questions all the time. Ever and ever again. And this Is how your thoughts became your reality. We find ourselves in downward trend, we barely can escape from.
And all those thoughts are probably wrong!
Do you care – really?
The best way to figure out the big “why” is to simply ask. This quickly generates a basic understanding. Just be interested in why he is doing that.
Disclaimer: Being interested doesn’t mean, that you have to like it!
We are all different. The more important question is about acceptance. Can you really accept, that another person is different? And how far should this go? Where does acceptance end and when does self manipulation start?
The moment when I told my wife, that I am wearing women clothes changed everything in our relationship. Her reaction was accidently right. She just acted kindly, was interested into the topic and asked questions! She did not condemn me. She didn’t react embarresed. She was just interested in “why” and since when.
To be fair, I did not plan to tell her on that day. It just happened. It was a very chill and relaxed situation in a local bar. On the one hand it was a big deal for me telling my partner, that I am dressing up in a feminine way. On the other hand she absolutely has the right know it – told by me!
Just imagine she is returning home and oops there’s a skirt on the floor in the doorway, followed by a pantie and high heels… What’s the first thing she possibly thinks? Hell yes: There’s another woman!
“Just do it”
There’s a nice term, that say’s: “Keep your friends close but your enemies even closer”. And in this case: Who is the enemy? You decide!
My wife chose to accept the fact, that I am dressing up wearing skirts and heels sometimes. She is buying me new things sometimes. It was even her idea to create this blog, to encourage other couples and offer them new perspectives!
And through Amazon Wardrobe (affiliate link) we can even “try” and test more clothes without risk for a period of 7 days. We’ve made quite a few catches there – yes. Well and today I am a kind of fashion influencer for the whole family. They like my dresses, bloussons or heels!
Accept it and really mean it
Life doesn’t consist of just yes and no. It’s grayscale. So as I’ve mentioned: you do not have to accept it. But you should find a consense.
When something is permitted, then it’s even more interesting. We all were children. But you could agree on the fact, that he should only wear it, when you do not see him. Or when he is on a business trip. Or in other situations.
Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile. Do whatever makes you happy!
How to possibly deal with it
Yes I say “possibly” and not, that you have to do it. There are many women out there supporting their men wearing women clothing. So her support isn’t something rare. But how she does it – is! She literally stands behind me and the whole project for one hundred percent. She wants to protect me, and at the same time let me express myself and live the whole thing out. Sometimes my fantasy happens in our “private room” and sometimes I live it out all by myself.
What is important is what we feel and experience together and what makes a couple. Are we satisfied with ourselves? Do we define ourselves by appearances? The job or our luxury apartment? Is it the children? Or do we define ourselves as a couple only by the two of us?
And if that is the case, the heaven of love is open for all time and with all the quarrels, niceties and experiences.