Skirt and Heels on a Business Trip

Radio Silence

It's been a while since I last posted. Honestly, that's mostly because not much exciting has happened in my life lately. Well, half true… I've simply had too much going on, both at work and at home. And finding the time to blog on top of that is enormously hard, not to say close to impossible.

But today I have to write again. Partly because I want to reach and encourage the people who still have reservations about men in skirts, heels, or dresses — the ones who only dare to step out in a skirt and heels after a glass or two of wine or beer, because otherwise they simply don't have the nerve.

I'm currently traveling for work. And, well, nobody here knows me anyway. So I figured this was the perfect setting. Business trips have a completely different flair to begin with. Hotel bars are the promised land for conversations that are sometimes shallow and sometimes surprisingly deep. So I made up my mind: into a skirt and a pair of winter ankle boots, and off I went.

But it's never quite that easy. So read closely, because what I'm about to tell you is, in the end, completely normal.

Over the past weeks and months, my feminine outfits had given way to the classic men's business suit. Sometimes you just don't feel like it, and you're perfectly comfortable in "normal" clothes. That's completely fine and entirely normal too. After all, we want the choice — not to be pushed toward one or the other. Free decisions, that's the whole point.

Sometimes It Just Has to Happen

But today, since I was traveling anyway and felt like it again, the moment was right. So I went up to my room and put on brown suede ankle boots and a skirt-and-blazer suit in a houndstooth pattern. Since I really can't be bothered shaving my legs, I wore opaque black leggings underneath.

A quick check that I had my room key and my phone for blogging, and off I went. The door clicked shut behind me, the sound echoing loudly down the hallway. I walked, focused, to the elevator, which opened right away, and pressed the button for the ground floor — the lobby with the bar — with a flutter of nerves and excitement.

After a short ride, the elevator doors opened, and there I was. It wasn't particularly busy. A handful of business travelers were deep in conversation about important matters. And yet absolutely nobody paid me any attention — not the hotelier, not the people at the bar. And that's something I really want to underline here.

The world doesn't revolve around you. It only does if you make it and demand it. So if you go around getting on everyone's nerves, you'll wear out your welcome fast. Just do your thing and live by the motto: live and let live.

Stares Are Normal

Imagine you're wearing a shirt drenched from top to bottom in gravy. Do you think people would look twice? Now imagine you had to give a wedding speech looking exactly that messy. Would people stare then?

Of course they would. When I stepped outside for a cigarette, hotel guests were coming in. Since I was the only person standing there at that moment, I would have drawn glances no matter what I was wearing. But that's exactly the point — it makes no difference at all what I happened to have on.

The Best Conversations Happen at the Bar

These days, prejudice and even a certain kind of tired stereotyping have become almost acceptable — you can read about it in the news on any given day.

Which is exactly why I love debunking those prejudices whenever I get the chance. I get plenty of messages on Instagram and elsewhere claiming that other countries — Muslim-majority or not — have a problem with this. But tonight, out of nowhere, I had the best conversation with a bartender and night porter from Bulgaria. And if I can say one thing: my outfit didn't interest him in the slightest. Either that, or he was simply very good at his job. Possibly both.

And that's really the whole point. I was friendly, and so was he. We talked about gin and the world, found things we had in common, and each of us wore whatever we happened to be wearing in that moment.

Upbringing

I honestly believe that any kind of forced tolerance doesn't accomplish all that much anyway. It would be far more valuable to instill, right from childhood, the idea that it simply shouldn't matter to you what someone else does or wears, as long as they leave you in peace. And on the flip side, it shouldn't matter to you what people think of you. Sooner or later, people will talk about you whether you like it or not — so make sure your outfits are worth their time.

The End of the Story

And yes, that might already have been the most exciting part of this post.

Because honestly, nothing much happened at all. I had a wonderful evening in an outfit I felt good in. Nothing more, nothing less.

Still, it's part of the deal that you'll feel a certain amount of excitement or nervousness now and then.

But that's normal — because you're daring to do something. It's the same as when a die-hard nerd suddenly shows up in a suit in an extremely nerdy industry. It simply stands out. Just like a colleague once told me: "You look like you walked straight out of a catalogue," after I showed up at an IT company wearing a shirt, a V-neck sweater, and chinos. Why was that remarkable? Well, IT companies aren't exactly known for their fine fashion sense or sharp business dress. So here's my parting advice: wear whatever makes you feel best today. Because no matter what that is, YOU have to feel good in it.