What Does It Feel Like to Wear Heels as a Man?

The question always comes. In messages, in comments under photos, from colleagues after the second beer: “So what does it feel like?” There is usually something in the tone, a little curiosity, a little disbelief. As if a high heel on a man’s foot were a dare rather than a shoe. I have been wearing heels for more than ten years, these days at the office too, and today I want to answer the question as honestly as I can. Not how it looks. How it feels.

The first moment: you stand differently

The first thing that happens has nothing to do with your feet. It is your back. A heel tilts the pelvis slightly forward, the shoulders go back, the chest opens. You gain a few centimetres and notice immediately that slouching is no longer an option. In flat shoes you can lounge. In heels you cannot. That straightening up is still the strongest sensation for me: I am standing there and I am present, whether I want to be or not.

Then the calves. They are tense, the heels sit high, the weight rests on the ball of the foot. Walking, the steps get shorter, the knee stays straighter, the hip draws a small arc. You stride instead of walk. It feels odd at first; after a few weeks it is a rhythm the body finds on its own.

The sound

What I had completely underestimated: people hear you. On parquet, on tiles, in a hotel lobby or on a railway platform every step sets a clear click. On my first walk through a busy hotel lobby in ankle boots that was exactly the part that made me most nervous. Not the looks, the sound. Today it is my favourite thing about high heels. It gives the walk a beat, and let’s be honest: a bit of entrance is the point.

Height is not just height

There are worlds between five and twelve centimetres, and the shape of the heel matters at least as much as its height.

• 5 to 7 cm, block heel: feels normal after a short while. I walk for hours in these, through town included.
• 8 to 9 cm, slim heel: the classic. The weight is clearly forward, every step wants to be placed. My comfort height for the office and evenings out.
• 10 cm and up: without a platform it becomes work. Beautiful, but not for the weekly shop.

And a strap across the instep or around the ankle changes everything. The foot stays put, you no longer have to grip with your toes. For beginners, strappy pumps or ankle boots are therefore more relaxed than classic pumps.

The pressure, the pain and why size decides everything

Yes, it can hurt. After three hours on a slim heel the ball of the foot burns, the little toe makes itself known, and taking the shoes off in the evening is the real pleasure. But most of that pain does not come from the heel. It comes from the wrong size or width. Women’s shoes are sold in EU sizes here, and a 44 is a 44, but the last is narrower than in men’s shoes. What helped me: go half a size up on slim models and never skimp on width. Which shops actually go up to 44, 45 or 46 I have collected in my guide to shoes in large sizes.

A second tip that sounds banal: gel pads under the ball of the foot and a pair of thin tights. The tights take away the friction, and I wear them with heels almost always anyway.

What happens in your head

This is the part I find hardest to explain. Heels change not only how I walk but how I work. I am more focused, I sit straighter, I drift less. Maybe because every step is deliberate. Maybe because I simply feel better in this outfit than in a shirt, tie and brown leather shoes. Why I wear high heels at all I have written about at length before. In short: because it feels elevated, elegant and a little cheeky. And because you “just don’t do that”.

And the looks?

Fewer than you think. Most people are looking at their phones. Those who do look usually see the shoes first, then the face, then look away again. Now and then a smile, rarely a remark, and when it comes it is over quickly. The pounding heart of the first few times had nothing to do with other people. It was all me. I told that story in my first time in a skirt and heels in public.

If you want to find out for yourself

1. Start at home. A pair with a 5 to 7 cm block heel, a strap or an ankle boot. Half a size up from your men’s size if the cut is slim.
2. Practise walking, not standing. Short steps, heel first, eyes forward. Ten minutes a day, and after two weeks it feels different.
3. Keep the first trip outside small. A lap around the block in the evening, a car park, a hotel corridor. The body learns fast; the head takes a little longer.

So what does it feel like to wear heels as a man? Taller. Louder. More deliberate. And after all these years, above all: normal. Which height do you like best, or which one don’t you dare yet? Tell me by mail or on Instagram.